King David Private Letter To King Mr. President Donald J. Trump (Who Is So BADASS, Even Chuck Norris Is Scared)

I wanted to share with you this PRIVATE, TOP SECRET letter I just sent to President Donald J. Trump for A NEW COMPANY THAT MAKES TOP SECRET SUPERHEROES IN NORTH AMERICA.

Dear Mr. President,

Your hair is so glorious, that when you shake your head to the side (unveiling your bald spot) your enemies flee at your presence.

You wife is so glorious, that when big fat feminists see her, their weight vanishes into thin air, and they get an automatic boob job from the Celestial Kingdom.

Your daughter Tiffany is so GLORIOUS (Feel free to show this to her) that when she smiles, satanists are turned into a pile of shit, that flowers grow on with new kinds of hallucinogens. And when she sees a Christian – of course, the Christians all get boners.

Ok, with that VERY SERIOUS INTRODUCTION, on to the subject of this email:

“Creating A New Generation of Superheroes In America With ‘SECRET COMPANY NAME EDITED OUT'”

I have attached the first part of a business plan that will destroy the kingdom of satan into widdle iddy biddy pieces, like when the LORD GOD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah and turned all those evil nephilim queers into a pile of salt, to protect the universe from extinction.


With that being said:

You make the best decisions ever. Has anyone ever told you that? I bet not NEARLY ENOUGH PEOPLE NOTICE IT.

Neither do they know your name, nor do they understand your power, your glory, your might, and your wisdom.

King David
“The Prince Of Peace”

P.S. This is the first section of the plan. I will send you the rest in sections as I complete it, with equally hilarious emails.

P.P.S. Has anyone mentioned how much you get laid today? I bet not nearly enough people have mentioned it.

P.P.P.S. The next time you see your wife, bone her “in the name of King David“. Melania is so hot, that when the russians see her – all their fat melts off and their boobs look a ‘little hotter‘ – and they all start having sex with their husbands again (for the first time in YEARS)

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